Parental Skill Builder Pillows

' I need another good night kiss cause the first one didn't stick.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

'Okay, but if you hadn't made me eat all those dumb vegetables, I wouldn't need to brush my teeth!'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

Parents compare buggies

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm the one with his head in a pelvic vice!'

Are we there yet?

"I'll tell you what: I'll clean up your room, you clean up my laptop."

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

'Did you feel that??'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

Child reading book: Understanding Your Parents' Behavior.

"If we're learning about multitasking, why does she need our 'undivided attention?'"

"Hey! Who's this little guy?"

Come to my party

Zipper complimenting zip child: "Ah, she's a cute as a button!"

'Perhaps we should talk about having kids'

"Apart from helping the community, making new friends, enjoying your experiences, supporting people in need, developing new skills, building a better community and having fun I can't see the point in volunteering!"

'...and this is our cheapest fertility treatment.'

'Ready to try out your new training?'

"Any gin in that basket?"