Parental Preparation Pioneers Pillows

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"How is it gendered?"

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

'The stuka brought you.'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

The conversion.

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'Two heads are better than one'?"

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Does it come with instructions?"

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Baby Shower

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"I couldn't find the off switch."

Designer Baby.

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

"Which one's mine?!"

Stuff You Do In Pre-natel Class.

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'