Parental Guidance Humorist T-Shirts

"I'm just looking for something to take the edge off before I give the kids the 'Don't Do Drugs' talk."

"Berne maintained that we are livign our lives according to a life plan written by a three year old.

"Son, I'm going to talk to you about the facts of life, with spoilers."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."