Parental Escapist T-Shirts

"Let's mix things up this Thanksgiving. Instead of all of us going to your folks', let's just drop off the kids, drive away and never look back."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

Worker to Boss: "I'd like to work flexible hours to avoid my children."

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.

Message in a bottle.

Teacher's Lounge

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

Back to School Jitters

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Virtual Reality Check

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

"Now that the kids are in jail, maybe we can take the vacation we always wanted."

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

Playing The Youth Card