Parental Escapist T-Shirts

"Let's mix things up this Thanksgiving. Instead of all of us going to your folks', let's just drop off the kids, drive away and never look back."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Worker to Boss: "I'd like to work flexible hours to avoid my children."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Teacher's Lounge

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

Message in a bottle.

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Playing The Youth Card

"Now that the kids are in jail, maybe we can take the vacation we always wanted."

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

Virtual Reality Check

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

Back to School Jitters

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."