Parent In Progress Gifts

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Werewolves of London..."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

In the DNA Kitchen

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'