
"Mum.... I need to poo."
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"Mum.... I need to poo."
Mum and baby both have pacifier.
You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.
Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.
The Poky Little Pupa.
"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."
"I need to know who started it."
"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."
'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'
'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'
Impracticle Guide to Having Babies
"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."
Sperm Whale.
'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'
"Time for bed, guys."
"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."
"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"
"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"
'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'
'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'
'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'
'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'
Chilly baby.
'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'
"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"
'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'
"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"
"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"
'Please tell me I'm adopted.'
'What are you in for?'
"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."
'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'
Please Wait Here To Be Scolded
"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"
'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'
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