Parent-child Interactions Gifts

'Stop competing, Harold!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Boy on father's knee

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Young Godzilla.

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

Where did Mommy go? Turtle Peekaboo.

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

A woman carrying a child carrying a teddy bear

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

Sweets

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

Twig, do you

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

"What's it to be Dad? Two quid or Handels water music in G flat?"

"My mom still makes all my clothes by hand."

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent teacher night. She wanted to ask you why I never take an interest in anything."

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"