Paranoid Tanner Mugs

How melanoma researchers take family summer vacations.

No Immediate Danger

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

Trust

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Conspiracy Cat

'At least they did a good job on him.'

"The penicillin looks good."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

Panic Button

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

"I have nothing to hide."

'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'

'Don't open that attachment!'

"...And never take candy from strangers -- They might be spies!"

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about Lyme disease."

"All our devices are talking to each other - about me."

"You don't need to come in for any more check-ups . . . we can get most of your personal information off Facebook."

Tannery.

'I've prescribed Anti-Depressants - you'll still be paranoid, but you'll be happily paranoid!'

"Skin cancer. . . terrorism, I'm not taking any chances!"

"Neighbors say you saw a movie that featured someone critical of the government's corona measures. You better come with us."

'Me and Verl are gonna get spray-on tans just in our beach cover-ups before goin' to Florida.'