Paranoid Poultry Chef T-Shirts

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Ghostbasters 3

"The penicillin looks good."

'Tasty bird.'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Hen Night

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

The poultry mania - Cochin China Fowls

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

"Cross the road and you are one of us brother, but you can never reveal WHY you did it!"

"Just between us, I came first, but I shredded the evidence."

"All our devices are talking to each other - about me."

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

"I filled your pool with anitbacterial soap. It's just until the swine flu alert is over."

Mother Clucker

'I don't know all that much about welding, but I really need to get a job before the end of the month.'