Paranoid Minds Pillows

'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

No Immediate Danger

Trust

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

Conspiracy Cat

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

"The penicillin looks good."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

Caterpillar Paranoia

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

How melanoma researchers take family summer vacations.

'Don't open that attachment!'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about Lyme disease."

"...And never take candy from strangers -- They might be spies!"

"All our devices are talking to each other - about me."

"You don't need to come in for any more check-ups . . . we can get most of your personal information off Facebook."

'I've prescribed Anti-Depressants - you'll still be paranoid, but you'll be happily paranoid!'

"Neighbors say you saw a movie that featured someone critical of the government's corona measures. You better come with us."

"Skin cancer. . . terrorism, I'm not taking any chances!"

"Dude - don't believe in all that nonsense you read on the internet."

You can put an end to all your phobias by investing in the germ and radiation proof 'kiddysafe'.

'You can only come in if you've been CRB checked.'

Things my cat says at 3 am