Paperback Preacher Prints

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Black or white, Vicar?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Night-time halo

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Thou Shalt Not!

Dogma

Two Generations of Readers

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

The ecumenical dinner party.

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"That's the preacher's dog."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'