Panic Management Pillows

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Fight or Flight

Mind-Fullness

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

Flu vaccine.

Enlightened Cursing

"Oh, stop hyperventilating! You went on vacation to relax, remember?"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I'm now ready to attend those anger management meetings!"

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

The stock market sky is falling.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"I'm worried that I'm the only one who constantly gets anxiety attacks..."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

"Regular angst isn't a problem. It's the post-modern existential angst that gets to me."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

Aggression Therapy Seminar

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

"Thanks, doctor, … I feel normalized."

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

Hissy-fits for sale.