Panic Borrower Gifts

Coronavirus Pandemic Library Borrower

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

Things I've learned...

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

The End is Nigh

The stock market sky is falling.

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

Panic Button

"To give it credibility let's tell the boss we stole our business idea from the Japanese instead of thinking it up ourselves!"

Flush Direct

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

"Dancing with the liquidators."

"I know we don't have a garden, but I panicked!"

Lending Library. It's a good idea Mister Franklin, but wouldn't rent-to-own be a better business model?

"Can you lend me a book?"

"It must have been nice to get spotted all those medical school loans."

Professor Yomp inserts ecology into his economic formula: "We're doomed!"

"Overcoming tardiness is overdue."

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

"This pandemic's made me stop, reflect and think about the important things in life - the things we forgot to panic buy and hoard!"

"Hello. . . Police? We've been burgled! The bastards have taken all of our soap, hand sanitiser and toilet rolls!"

'I'm just here to pay you a compliment.'

Oh, look, it's a black hole, a lightless void that never ends … Wait, never mind, that's just my student loan debt.

'Could I have a loan of a cup of sugar please?'

"These are way overdue."

"I think you just discovered a great visual metaphor for panic!"

British Weather Bureau Symbols

I just got off the phone with all your creditors, Rudy. How'd it go? You a total of $148,000. I got that total reduced by 70%, so now you only owe $44, 400. That means with the debt consolidation loan I've given you, you'll pay me 72 monthly payments of $1,500/ That comes to like, $108,000, not $44,400. You're welcome.

'Oh my God!! My hair's falling out!!'

That bestseller you let me 'borrow'

'What's the point of shelving books, they just check them out again anyway!'