Panelist Gifts

"The subject of tonight's discussion is: why are there no women on this panel?"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

Would you like to dance?

"Panelist, or moderator, that is the question...."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"The election is underway!"

"The Tories beat the Labour party in the UK. I don't know what those words mean, but let's pretend!"

Rob Brydon.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Clive Anderson

Tree of Public Opinion.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Sir Patrick Moore.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

The United States of Amazement

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?