Panel Show Fanatic Gifts

Romesh Ranganathan

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Houdini.

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

"The election is underway!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

"Are you sure this species has never been filmed before?"

'Hi, I'm here to apply for the EXTREME make over talk show!'

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

"Mom, turn on the TV!"

Studio 51

"'Jeopardy!' is on."

'American, idle.'