Pale Skin Warrior T-Shirts

Sun cream factor 5000.

Gamers

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Freedom of the press

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

Militant Pacifists

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

New Hair Cloning Technology.

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

'Thank God, no tasers in my day!'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"Sea animals are long since extinct but he ocean is still dangerous for swimmers!"

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

The whale and the plastic bottle.

Calm in the Face of Chaos

"Wig or the wisp?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer games in the office

"Namaste! The divinity in me versus the divinity in you!"

Samurai - Accountant.

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

Cartoonist Pencil

'I could be wrong, but I think Frank brought in a ringer.'