Painting Perfectionist T-Shirts

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

Artist and art critic

'Ooh, that's better!'

Wholesale Prices Eliminate the Middleman Direct from the Studio.

More lies.

'Apparently he only uses fugitive colours.'

"You commissioned it. Just tell me when to stop."

"I'm not sure I brought enough blue."

"Ghah, my thumb is in the picture..."

'Actually, we wear these big smocks in case we get aroused.'

'Three thousand of those, four thousand of those, five thousand of those...'

"Quit moving"

Copycat.

'Quit moving!'

"I've finished shovelling and am for the most part satisfied with the results, but I'll rest now and look at it again in the morning."

Great Painting

Portrait pulling a face at artist.

Artist and buyer

Artist paints an easel on an easel

The Scream Painting

Bullseye!

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Quick, press control Z!'