Painterly Pundit T-Shirts

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'We finally do have meaningful tax reform, sir. This year's form is printed on recycled paper.'

Editor. Short. Sweet.

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Trays 'IN' 'OUT' and 'Don't ask'

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

Wussapalooka

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

Siegfried Sassoon

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

Nostalgia: 'In one era..out the other'

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"Postmodern irony, right? - the creativity is in the price."

"Students always think that they're going to change the world..."

London Fashion Week.

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

Ben Okri

"Binaldi, Ravaccio, Dellacorte... and that's just the frames."

Poetry Journal. Any good submissions over the internet? No -- Just the usual bloggerel.