Pageant Philosopher T-Shirts

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

Miss America IQ Pageant

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

The return of Miss Subways

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'I owe all my drive, ambition, and dedication to student debt.'

Circus Pageant

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

Here's How The Next Miss America Will Be Chosen

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Miss America IQ pageant.

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

2016. 2015. Hey, come back here! You can't just decide to take a gap year!

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

How To Be In The Moment...a few moments before anyone else.

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

7th annual weird fishes pageant

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Blank Inside

Beauty Contest

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

The Misinformed Pageant - "The capital of Mexico is Mexico town..." "The duck is the largest flightless bird..." "Consuming buttered scones can lead to pregnancy."