Page Panel Enthusiast Gifts

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Rare Books

"So, what are you reading?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Bibliomaniac

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Solar Cars

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

Rob Brydon.

"The adult coloring books are a big hit."

Alan Davies.

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

'I earned these from my alternative energy initiative...they're solar panels.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer

Page: 'That poor devil ain't mixed much in society!'

Books And Their Authors: "Hollywood's view of shoes..."

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

"I'm willing to try you out. But you'll have to give up the whole cat thing."

Ian Hislop

Sorry I've got Writer's Block.

'Admit it, you fitted the solar panels the wrong way round.'

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

Writer's block

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."

'I have to go now - I'm being beeped.'