Paella Enthusiast Gifts

Paella

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

6 Brothers Falafel

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

"Nuts to you, too."

AA Meeting Here Today

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I stand corrected."

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Didn't you just say that?"

Italia tours

'It's my favorite.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"You have word-ill."

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Children playing games

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'