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'My life is an open Facebook.'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"I can’t wait to get home and blog about this."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

Holiday Luggage

'To err is human, but to forgive is unusual.'

"Any chance that was you who just screamed in excruciating pain?"

"I never go anywhere unprepared!"

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Damned tourists.'

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

Boss sitting in an umpire chair to watch his employees.

Rudy, please stop live blogging everything you do. On verge of argument. I'd hate the world to know our most intimate secrets. Sharing is what it's all about. For instance, I'd hate them to know that if you don't stop live blogging you'll never get any nookie. Now where were we? Capitulating.

'His Mandarin's OK, but he needs extra tuition in differential calculus.'

"Doctor, I just can't keep anything to myself..."

Vern takes the cashier's greeting of 'how are you today?' far too literally.

"I think I've got analysis paralysis."

"Can I call you back? I'm having sex."

'Ma'am, I think you've misunderstood the term 'carry-on luggage'.'

"Your blog indicates I'm not doing well at all."

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

Couple in bed. Man enjoys post-coital cigarette while woman is on laptop. He says: 'Are you blogging this?'

"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."

"Miranda, this is Larry, my old therapist — Larry knows all my secrets ... and some of yours."

"Whoa – way too much information."

"I do think it would speed things up if you followed my social media."

'I use Facebook to share my thoughts about my unsightly liver spots and hard stools.'

'Ought we to blow the whistle? He is, after all, a senior consultant.'

"Haven't you listened to a thing I've said...there are certain things you never ask about, things that should always remain private!"

"Hey, we stole six thousand. Can I post that on Facebook?"