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The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"I can’t wait to get home and blog about this."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

Holiday Luggage

'To err is human, but to forgive is unusual.'

"I never go anywhere unprepared!"

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Damned tourists.'

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

Boss sitting in an umpire chair to watch his employees.

'His Mandarin's OK, but he needs extra tuition in differential calculus.'

"Doctor, I just can't keep anything to myself..."

'Ma'am, I think you've misunderstood the term 'carry-on luggage'.'

"I think I've got analysis paralysis."

"Can I call you back? I'm having sex."

"Your blog indicates I'm not doing well at all."

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

Couple in bed. Man enjoys post-coital cigarette while woman is on laptop. He says: 'Are you blogging this?'

"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."

"Miranda, this is Larry, my old therapist — Larry knows all my secrets ... and some of yours."

"Whoa – way too much information."

"I do think it would speed things up if you followed my social media."

'Ought we to blow the whistle? He is, after all, a senior consultant.'

"Haven't you listened to a thing I've said...there are certain things you never ask about, things that should always remain private!"

"Hey, we stole six thousand. Can I post that on Facebook?"