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Rudy, please stop live blogging everything you do. On verge of argument. I'd hate the world to know our most intimate secrets. Sharing is what it's all about. For instance, I'd hate them to know that if you don't stop live blogging you'll never get any nookie. Now where were we? Capitulating.

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'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"So much for password protected."

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

"Error 404: Brain not found"

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

'To err is human, but to forgive is unusual.'

"Any chance that was you who just screamed in excruciating pain?"

'She blogged her first word today.'

Boss sitting in an umpire chair to watch his employees.

'Hold on, Ma, he's posting.'

Internet supervision.

'His Mandarin's OK, but he needs extra tuition in differential calculus.'

Modern Day Alice in Wonderland.

"Can I call you back? I'm having sex."

Vern takes the cashier's greeting of 'how are you today?' far too literally.

"Doctor, I just can't keep anything to myself..."

'My life is an open Facebook.'

"Your blog indicates I'm not doing well at all."

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

Couple in bed. Man enjoys post-coital cigarette while woman is on laptop. He says: 'Are you blogging this?'

"Miranda, this is Larry, my old therapist — Larry knows all my secrets ... and some of yours."

"Whoa – way too much information."

"I do think it would speed things up if you followed my social media."

'I use Facebook to share my thoughts about my unsightly liver spots and hard stools.'

"Haven't you listened to a thing I've said...there are certain things you never ask about, things that should always remain private!"

"Just because they all work from home now doesn't mean I don't still keep an eye on them."

"Hey, we stole six thousand. Can I post that on Facebook?"

Because it doesn't suddenly develop a headache. That's why!

I have this really bad itch on my ne