Overachieving Preparer Gifts

'Here is the feeding schedule and a S.A.T. word list. You can never start reviewing too early.'

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Genius Envy

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Cake Escape

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Too big to fail

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

'They're a very successful family.'

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'That's your report card and might I add you need to try a little harder.'

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

"This has been a productive homework session!"

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

"With a good education you can grow up to be anything I want you to be."

Office Task Map

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

'I'm wearing a bump cap and a hard hat. I like to be ready for any situation.'

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'