Over-caffeinated Intellectual T-Shirts

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

The intellectual.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Still Coffee Runs Deep

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

"She thinks I think it's real latte, but I know decaf when I taste it."

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'I want a classic that reveals eternal truths, absolute justice and moral courage without challenging my basic prejudices.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

New Belief Systems

The Cona Lisa

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

"So how come you never sent them a 'common-sense' pandemic."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."