Outdoors Observer T-Shirts

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

'Frankly Mum, I'd rather read a book quietly than frolic around the paddock...'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'The circle is complete!'

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Fly Fishing

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Duck Hunt

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Bears catching fish

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'I admire your floatibility.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

What does aloof mean?

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

The prying mantis,

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

Beaver tower