Outdoor Chore Artist Pillows

'Do you realize that you should have put petrol in it?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

The Last Leaf

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"I love your work!"

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Campground Conductor

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

Painter Sheltering Under His Canvas.

Everyday Ballet Moves

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

Man Painting Road.

Paint-By-Numbers in Nature

'Oh Darren, I just love what you've done with your dung.'

"I'm helping Mom wash the dishes."

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

How to communicate with a man.

New broom

"Hey - we could do with another light bulb. . !"