Out-of-this-world Dater T-Shirts

"Not if you were the LAST glorf on Fignoid!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

You looked different during our video chat.

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Wanna do lunch?"

"He's a terrible drunk."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Spud dating.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'You must be Olivia.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Nethead strip: Dates

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"So tell me again where you're from."

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'