Ornithologists Pillows

"Wow, I could never live in the rainforest. I mean, I spent a weekend there on migration and had a blast, but I could never live there."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

Espresso Martini Peacock

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

"What did you think was going to happen when you filled the feeder with lasagna?"

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"You're sure it was a Northern Bobwhite?"