Origin Story Enthusiast Pillows

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Audio Books

'Yes, all at once!'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Alberich steals the gold

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"So, kids, you should all be thankful we don't live during a potato famine. Especially you, Jimmy."