Organizational Management Gifts

"...as of noon today, we became a non-profit making organisation."

Department of Commerce:'Regulate...Deregulate'

"We ned to do something about excessive admin...I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

In Tray Out Tray Suspicious Tray

"Why don't you try THIS instead?"

"Staff support"

Oog has invented the organization chart.

"I'll need all your client files up to date and you'll need to attend the 'managing paperclips safely' training on Thursday."

Jobs Inc: In and outsource.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

These are the people who'll be line managing you.

"Because this is a non-profit organization, we have non-profit sharing."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."