Organizational Efficiency Pillows

'Item 56 (B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

Inout baskets.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"