Organizational Change Specialist Gifts

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'The reorganisation is moving along. Here comes the new honcho now.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

Zoo Inc. Management Structure

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

Illogic Tree

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Oog has invented the organization chart.

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'So, Jim, they tell me you're good at compartmentalizing!'

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

'This is the most dysfunctional company I've ever seen. Everyone is in complete denial about the elephant in the boardroom!'

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

'Who's that pathetic little one down there?'

'I've organised the bathroom.'

'Just wanted to step in say: we have a great consulting firm on this floor.'

'Yes, I've been let go by lots of employers, but they were all looking for a scapegoat to take the fall...'

"That's UGnuk, he's been here from the start."

There are better responses to 'change' than running around the office screaming 'We're doomed!'

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."