Change Management Consultant Gifts

'Diversity is good, pass it down.'

'Not everyone is able to cope with change.'

'I'm not sure they appreciate your witty visual take on the consequences of 'change'.'

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.'

"Damn change and newfangled ideas. . . if mindless backbreaking work was good enough for my ancestors it's good enough for me!"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'We're only ten tech support calls away from another free pizza!'

'Ah, look, it left a little microchip trail.'

"Managing change is difficult when most of the team is happy doing things the wrong way!"

"Are you the new change management consultant?"

"Actually I was hoping you'd change his mind with the strength of your arguments and your innate erudition."

"Get this typed up and faxed over to the change management consultants, Doreen."

'The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his ***** dates at this ***** stage which fits in with the 'Management change' consultant who said....'

'Find out if 'Snap, Crackle, Barf' is actionable.'

Evacuation.

'Get those joints rolled, Ms. Hensley, there's a mob on the way!'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Fish and color

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

Office temperature.