Change Management Guru Gifts

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Sir Winston Churchill

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Teamwork!

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Decision Making Block

The House of Commons.

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.