Organizational Behavior Specialist Pillows

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"Okay, so I've outgrown my niche in Organizational Behavior. I'll re-niche."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Staff support"

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

How leaders fail

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"The meeting will come to order."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Any questions?"

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

When Engineers Crack.

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."