
"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"
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"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"
'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'
On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.
"This position has become very important to the company."
'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'
"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."
"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."
Let's get organized
"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."
"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."
"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."
"The meeting will come to order."
"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"
Organization is not rocket science!
"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."
Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'
"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"
'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'
Maybe clean out your wallet
"Uh-Oh..."
"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."
"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."
Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.
He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.
"They found a use for that old paper shredder."
Dog's In Tray and Out Tray
'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'
'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'
'He takes his organization chart seriously.'
"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."
"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."
Speed of assimilation VS New team members
Catalogue of little books.
"Hey look, my To Do list! I haven't been able to find this for weeks!"
Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .
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