Organizational Development Specialist Pillows

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Staff support"

How leaders fail

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Any questions?"

USAID Octopus Wrapping Around Globe

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"That one shows our office cliques."

Failure/Due Diligence

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'The reorganisation is moving along. Here comes the new honcho now.'

Human Recources Management

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

"It looks like we're reorganizing again."

"Read the part when I invented micro management."

New Memer/Incumbent

Oh no ... Outsourcing

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

'This is the most dysfunctional company I've ever seen. Everyone is in complete denial about the elephant in the boardroom!'

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'