Oral Hygiene Advocate Pillows

"Couldn't you find one with softer bristles?"

'I'd sacrifice anything for better checkups...except ice cream, candy and cookies.'

"Your mouth is a disaster. Come back when you're ready to take our relationship seriously."

'Open, please!'

'Don't forget to brush your teeth.'

'Yummo Toothpaste contains no caffeine, and cleans your teeth better than Coke or Pepsi!'

"That was my dentist ... he gave me some dental floss."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

The Cougher

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

You have the worst spring breath.

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

Floss Street Vendor

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

"Damn these super powers!"

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'