Optimistic Hustler T-Shirts

"I'm making a fortune knocking on peoples doors and selling these"

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

The Real American Dream

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'Do you realize, this is a land of opportunity?' - 'Yes, anyone can become a tax payer.'

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

"I got a lot of work done today. I couldn't sleep."

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

'Portfolio evaluation; $2.50'

'I forgot my keys!'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

'Well. I hope you at least closed the sale, Harry.'

"It helps me to focus more on success and less on my tail."

'No one takes me seriously because I'm a small business man.'

'We haven't made a dime all day -- maybe renting an office wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

Get rich quick.

Feel good looks great

"I want you to unload the dishwasher and put every dish away...including your tip jar."

'I worry we have no backup plan if things go right.'