Optimistic Analyst Gifts

"Today stocks rebounded from the downturn on news that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

To Stock Exchange

'It's not a 20 year low! We've been in business only 19 years.'

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"All of the economic indicators I've seen are pointing up."

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

Doom & Gloom

Learning from economics

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

'At our last meeting we decided to go for broke. Well, mission accomplished.'

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"Peters, make a joyful noise."

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

'Your stock portfolio didn't lose one third of its value, Mr. Reynolds, it retained two thirds.'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Hello, this is the Department of the Treasury - Good morning so far.'

"Put me back on hold! That song - 'We're in the money' - put me in a really good mood!"

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

"Cursed To Live In HowdyTown."

Investments Cock-Eyed Optimists.

'You'll like him. He's very optimistic - he believes that money can make you happy.'

Instant winner trash can

'I have a way of making £1000 from an investment of £10. Trouble is where do I get £10?'

"I was let go."

'I try not to push him. After all, his job, his division, his company and his hometown were eliminated.'

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

"Breaking even is the new 'in the black'."

"At least he died at home."