Opposites Attract Enthusiasts Pillows

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

We should talk...

Blend Schools

"Your profile said you were a dog."

The Formal Street Artist

'Well, you know what they say about opposite's attracting...'

The reserved and the go-ers.'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

"I love you, ya big galoot."

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

Dinner Mates.

New Milks

Prisoner keeping a calendar on his laptop.

'Well I don't care what these placemats say. I think we're perfect for each other.'

Small man falling in love with large woman

'I can't believe those two tied the knot, they're so mismatched.'

'It'll never work, Richard. We're too different. For example, I only like a parade...'

Snail Air Balloon

"Uh-uh! No way! Don't even think about it!"

"Patty and Glen met at the Opera. Rich and I met at the beach. Where did you two meet?"

Why some folks don't want to upgrade their phones...

Early one morning The Grim and The Happy Reaper pay Alice a visit.

Assassin/Cartoonist

"It's a pluot—an apricot that self-identifies as a plum."

'I've crossed chalk with cheese!'

Lion and Lamb Peacefully reading at Home.

"We're Siamese twins, but you get a choice. he's a jock, and I'm a geek."

"I still enjoy running my winery, but these days my real passion is the meth lab."

After hours...

'Grampa wasn't kidding when he said you'd have to pry his 49 merc from his cold dead hands.'

The Marchioness in the chaise

"Before this goes any further, I need to know - is this canon?"

'You'll catch your death of cold out in this weather!'