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'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Say, please.'

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

Operating table.

'Lunch!'

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

Operating room attendent explaining 'And this one is wired directly to his lawyer...'