Operation Optimist Pillows

'We ran out of Gastric Band,so I've put in a Brass Band.'

"Try to cheer your surgeon up. He's lost four patients this morning."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Upward Progress

Six Thinking Hats

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Sign - CAN DO "I like your attitude, Harris."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

Flower growing from a bomb.

'-Must remember to empty that...'

Man replaces tank sign with deer sign

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Nothing to Lose

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

I accidentally deleted your report, Bob. Figures. Coffee maker's broken, Bob. Figures. Forget those changes I asked you to make, Bob. Figures. Bob, your flight is at 5 a.m. Figures. I need you to stay late, Bob. Figures. No, Bob, your plan doesn't cover dental. Figures. It wasn't exactly the six0figures job that Bob had hoped for.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?