Operating Theater Staff T-Shirts

"What's the hold up with that kidney?"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'It was great. I hated it.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

"The opening night is always a bit special!"

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

"Will someone be completing my surgery?"

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

'Yes, they've kept it pretty close to the book.'

'The magician? I don't know. He seems to have vanished into thin air.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

'Is there a spotlight operator in the house?'

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

Being married is like working backstage at a magic show.