Opening A New Practice T-Shirts

Hanging out your shingle

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Modular Offices

'It's the first dollar earned and the only one, I might say, that hasn't been working for me!'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

"Nigel - set up a New York Office and have them ring me back immediately.."

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

"It does make a statement."

'Three words doc, why you should buy...dislocation,dislocation,dislocation.'

'Flexi-space.'

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"Wow. Suddenly I've got fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, headaches and body aches, chills, and fatigue."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"I think that's the newest machine replacing the new machine we just installed."

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

Sign on new dental practice reads 'open wide'.

A dentist places his first tooth and his first dollar on the wall.

"We have two offices throughout the world."

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'As an amnesiac, we'll slowly build memory. Now, pay me and then try to remember paying me.'

Office for rent and Hooray!

Sale. Everything Must Go.