Opening A Law Practice Pillows

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Dentist Training School.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Objection, your honor! Prosecution is playing the blame game!"

Hanging out your shingle

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

'Objection, Your Honor...council is badgering the witness.'

"I charge by the grain."

Sports Lawyers

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'Our firm's speciality is getting hands out of cookie jars.'

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

'If at first you don't succeed...appeal to a higher court.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Three words doc, why you should buy...dislocation,dislocation,dislocation.'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"