Ontology Ponderer Pillows

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Needs to get a life"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Ten Commandments

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."

"Is this who I am?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'