Ontological Inquirer T-Shirts

An awareness of the human condition momentarily held up the breakfast preparations.

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Do Guns Kill?

You can relax now.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

Lost and Profound.

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Jobbik Party.

Religion, This End Up

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

God hounded by the media.

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

"I think once Qadyn is exposed to other 7-year-old nihilists, he’ll really start to blossom."

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

"And where did you come from?"

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"

"And if you did, why did you cross the road?"

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

Good Cop/Hollywood Cop: "Confess or my partner will make you read his screenplay."

'Don't worry boss...he will talk...we told him the fish was a piranha.'

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."