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'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Obsession with the Internet.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"You've got computer-breath."

Dad Trophies

Man doing a search on a computer

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Travelogue

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

Online Shopping.

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."